So three weeks into school and I had my first year teacher doubts. When I got my job at my dream school, I thought I would be walking into this year with smiles and I would pass the whole "is teaching really what I'm supposed to do with my life?" phase. Well, I didn't.
When I got hired, I agreed to teach Tier 3 students Freshmen (students who are multiple reading levels under grade level). I will be the first to tell you that I LOVE working with students who have difficult home lives, behavioral problems and educationally lower. But I might have taken on WAY more than I could handle with this group. I have 16 students in my class and 9 of them read between a kindergarten through 3 grade reading level with vocabularies to match. Most of them have attitudes and need attention more than one single teacher can give them.
On Thursday, I learned what 16 lower level students who don't want to be in school can do to your mind. Doubt in my abilities, fear that I would ruin a chance for these students to excel, and the feeling of not being good enough. After talking to a department head and several other people who had taught Tier 3 students, learning that most people (even teachers who have been doing this for many many years) struggle.
The struggle is beyond real. This last week was Homecoming, which is just a crazy week in general. Adding PL and a department meeting, along with Powder Puff and a pep assembly.... I am EXHAUSTED. On top of being a first year teacher. The struggle is seriously real.
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