There are days, I already question if this is what I should
be doing with my life and then there are days that I know that I was meant to
do this. After this week, I know that a lot of teachers spend time thinking
about this and every day is a choice of how to handle the given situations.
This week was a very long week for most of my teacher friends with parent
teacher conferences. I have been “teaching” between teaching in preschools and
subbing for the last seven years of my life and it is weeks like this one that
make me realize just how much I love it.
I have a student, who I will call “Mark”. I have known “Mark” for a couple of years now. He is a senior and struggling with life as a whole. "Mark" walked up to me after the bell rang and he asked me a question that I’m sure I will get a million times between now and time I retire. He asked me “Why I wanted to become a teacher?” I sat there for just a second and I smiled. I told him that that was a LONG story but I would give him a little bit of it. I wanted to share my story with you as well-
After graduating from a little high school, there was only 37 students in my graduating class, I went on to do “what was expected of me” which was going to a four-year university. After spending my entire senior year trying to figure out how to get out of my small town, I ended up getting accepted to Auburn University in Alabama, Pittsburg State University in Kansas and Kansas State University. I was set and ready to move away from all of what I thought was wrong with my life. In May, I decided to stay close to home and go to Kansas State University to pursue a degree in Secondary Education in English. Three years into my education, my professor pulled me aside and questioned if teaching was something that I really wanted to do because she was skeptical if I could actually do it with success. I was heartbroken. Everything that I ever wanted to do, I could not do anymore. I changed my major that day. I still regret that day every single day.
“Mark” stopped me at this point of the story and he said “But Ms. Perret, you are doing it now!” I smiled and told him that it took me seven years, a relocation, two career changes and almost ten years of schooling before I could get to the point that I was at.
I picked up my ENTIRE life, packed it into my car and moved to Wichita- essentially to start over with my life. After working as a preschool teacher for five years, I knew that I loved watching students learn but I could not stand people telling me “what I should be doing and how I should be doing it”. The politics of the world and what I would find out it to be something that happens in every career field. After a few years of that, I decided to go back to school and try working in the medical field which would end up being something that I just did not enjoy and the only thing that made me happy was when I was substituting. I knew that it was what I wanted to do with my life. One day, I decided to go back to school. I started in Elementary Education which I loved but was not a big fan of the amount of structure that they had to keep with. So with only three semesters left, I switched over to Secondary education. And here I am.
“Mark” just sat there for a minute staring at me. I could tell that he had questions and I thought maybe my story was not what he wanted to hear. I looked at him, laughed and told him that Adult Life really was not as fun as everyone makes it out to be. I had to make several tough choices, including moving away from my family, spending YEARS in school that I did not need to and struggled financially and emotionally.
“Mark” told me that he had not been the best person in the last few years. He struggled with personal matters and other things that he did not really want to talk about (even though I knew all about it) but he did not want to be stuck in for the rest of his life. I told him that good things in life are not handed to you and if you wanted to do something, he needed to stand his ground and do it.
“Mark” like many of my students have lives outside of school that at one point in my life would have shocked me. But after working with these students, I really just want to be able to help them out of the situation that they are in and push them into a successful life. Knowing that some of them do not want to be pushed into “my world” of good for them. But every now and again, a student makes my sympathy for them grow, “Mark” is one of those students: a good kid who wants nothing more than to get out of the situation that he is in.
The story I did not tell him was when I was in Manhattan, I was placed at a middle school for a class. I met a young student who was a horrible student: angry, down right mean and just had no care in the world. I was talking to my teacher one day after school, she was telling me about this young student and how he was originally from California: no father in the picture and mom was a drug dealer. He was placed with his sister after his mother got arrested when he was picked up for carrying drugs in his backpack at the age of 5. So no dad in the picture, mother is jail and now he was living with his sister who was in the Army, stationed on Fort Riley. One day, my teacher asked me to take this student to the office: I walked him to the office-no words spoken between us. We got to the office, I asked him to take a seat at this table. He looked at me and walked over to the table but did not sit down. Once more I asked him very nicely to “please sit down” and he looked up at me and sat down. I thanked him. He said “what are you thanking me for?” I looked at him puzzled and said “because you did what I asked of you and you could have made this a lot harder for both you and me but you did not. You did what I asked of you so I think that deserved a thank you”. He said no one has ever thanked me for anything. I giggled and said “probably because you are not very nice to most people”. He stared at the desk and said “you just don’t understand me”. I agreed with him and explained to him that I could not understand him because he would not let me in and talk to me. I had tried for weeks to get him to let me help him with assignments that we were working on. After that, the student was definitely nicer to me at least.
At the end of my time at this school, I sat down with him and told him that I was leaving and told him that I gave the teacher my email address in case he wanted to talk when I had left. His sister and I got pretty close and the teacher was also going to give my email address to her as well. In May of 2013, I got an email from him- He was graduating from high school and wanted me to go. I watched this student, who no one thought was going to make it out of middle school, walk across a stage and get his diploma. It was one of the happiest moments of my life- he was happy, his sister was happy. His sister stopped me after the graduation, she told me that he was doing well after a couple of incidences that got him into a little trouble but she told me that he was going back to California because their Mother was getting out of prison and he wanted to show her how well he was doing. I was worried about this and so was his sister but knowing the struggles that he was going through, I knew there was no talking him out of it.
Last year, I got another email from his sister. This one was not as great as the first one. After being in California for two years, the student had gotten back into a bad spot and ended up getting killed. This was something that I was never expected. She invited me to the funeral--- I had to decline to go. I’m not sure if I would have made it through that funeral.
Now I sit here and wonder what is going to happen to the rest of my student. Every day I worry about the life that they lived and I will tell students this story one day. Students are a precious gift and teachers need to figure out how to get their students to open up so they can help them. But I wonder what makes a good teacher a good teacher and how do you get student to open up without crossing lines.
I have a student, who I will call “Mark”. I have known “Mark” for a couple of years now. He is a senior and struggling with life as a whole. "Mark" walked up to me after the bell rang and he asked me a question that I’m sure I will get a million times between now and time I retire. He asked me “Why I wanted to become a teacher?” I sat there for just a second and I smiled. I told him that that was a LONG story but I would give him a little bit of it. I wanted to share my story with you as well-
After graduating from a little high school, there was only 37 students in my graduating class, I went on to do “what was expected of me” which was going to a four-year university. After spending my entire senior year trying to figure out how to get out of my small town, I ended up getting accepted to Auburn University in Alabama, Pittsburg State University in Kansas and Kansas State University. I was set and ready to move away from all of what I thought was wrong with my life. In May, I decided to stay close to home and go to Kansas State University to pursue a degree in Secondary Education in English. Three years into my education, my professor pulled me aside and questioned if teaching was something that I really wanted to do because she was skeptical if I could actually do it with success. I was heartbroken. Everything that I ever wanted to do, I could not do anymore. I changed my major that day. I still regret that day every single day.
“Mark” stopped me at this point of the story and he said “But Ms. Perret, you are doing it now!” I smiled and told him that it took me seven years, a relocation, two career changes and almost ten years of schooling before I could get to the point that I was at.
I picked up my ENTIRE life, packed it into my car and moved to Wichita- essentially to start over with my life. After working as a preschool teacher for five years, I knew that I loved watching students learn but I could not stand people telling me “what I should be doing and how I should be doing it”. The politics of the world and what I would find out it to be something that happens in every career field. After a few years of that, I decided to go back to school and try working in the medical field which would end up being something that I just did not enjoy and the only thing that made me happy was when I was substituting. I knew that it was what I wanted to do with my life. One day, I decided to go back to school. I started in Elementary Education which I loved but was not a big fan of the amount of structure that they had to keep with. So with only three semesters left, I switched over to Secondary education. And here I am.
“Mark” just sat there for a minute staring at me. I could tell that he had questions and I thought maybe my story was not what he wanted to hear. I looked at him, laughed and told him that Adult Life really was not as fun as everyone makes it out to be. I had to make several tough choices, including moving away from my family, spending YEARS in school that I did not need to and struggled financially and emotionally.
“Mark” told me that he had not been the best person in the last few years. He struggled with personal matters and other things that he did not really want to talk about (even though I knew all about it) but he did not want to be stuck in for the rest of his life. I told him that good things in life are not handed to you and if you wanted to do something, he needed to stand his ground and do it.
“Mark” like many of my students have lives outside of school that at one point in my life would have shocked me. But after working with these students, I really just want to be able to help them out of the situation that they are in and push them into a successful life. Knowing that some of them do not want to be pushed into “my world” of good for them. But every now and again, a student makes my sympathy for them grow, “Mark” is one of those students: a good kid who wants nothing more than to get out of the situation that he is in.
The story I did not tell him was when I was in Manhattan, I was placed at a middle school for a class. I met a young student who was a horrible student: angry, down right mean and just had no care in the world. I was talking to my teacher one day after school, she was telling me about this young student and how he was originally from California: no father in the picture and mom was a drug dealer. He was placed with his sister after his mother got arrested when he was picked up for carrying drugs in his backpack at the age of 5. So no dad in the picture, mother is jail and now he was living with his sister who was in the Army, stationed on Fort Riley. One day, my teacher asked me to take this student to the office: I walked him to the office-no words spoken between us. We got to the office, I asked him to take a seat at this table. He looked at me and walked over to the table but did not sit down. Once more I asked him very nicely to “please sit down” and he looked up at me and sat down. I thanked him. He said “what are you thanking me for?” I looked at him puzzled and said “because you did what I asked of you and you could have made this a lot harder for both you and me but you did not. You did what I asked of you so I think that deserved a thank you”. He said no one has ever thanked me for anything. I giggled and said “probably because you are not very nice to most people”. He stared at the desk and said “you just don’t understand me”. I agreed with him and explained to him that I could not understand him because he would not let me in and talk to me. I had tried for weeks to get him to let me help him with assignments that we were working on. After that, the student was definitely nicer to me at least.
At the end of my time at this school, I sat down with him and told him that I was leaving and told him that I gave the teacher my email address in case he wanted to talk when I had left. His sister and I got pretty close and the teacher was also going to give my email address to her as well. In May of 2013, I got an email from him- He was graduating from high school and wanted me to go. I watched this student, who no one thought was going to make it out of middle school, walk across a stage and get his diploma. It was one of the happiest moments of my life- he was happy, his sister was happy. His sister stopped me after the graduation, she told me that he was doing well after a couple of incidences that got him into a little trouble but she told me that he was going back to California because their Mother was getting out of prison and he wanted to show her how well he was doing. I was worried about this and so was his sister but knowing the struggles that he was going through, I knew there was no talking him out of it.
Last year, I got another email from his sister. This one was not as great as the first one. After being in California for two years, the student had gotten back into a bad spot and ended up getting killed. This was something that I was never expected. She invited me to the funeral--- I had to decline to go. I’m not sure if I would have made it through that funeral.
Now I sit here and wonder what is going to happen to the rest of my student. Every day I worry about the life that they lived and I will tell students this story one day. Students are a precious gift and teachers need to figure out how to get their students to open up so they can help them. But I wonder what makes a good teacher a good teacher and how do you get student to open up without crossing lines.
I spent a majority of the day today, looking at how to get students to open up to me. My Mentor Teacher and I have had several conversations about how we know nothing about some of our students, one in particular. So my goal for the next month, is to work on getting to know these students. I found this website: http://blog.teacherspayteachers.com/lets-give-em-something-talk-ways-get-students-discuss-books/ and it talks about a postcard discussion which I think would be great for this student. I cannot wait to see what happens with this.
Does anyone else have anything that could help me out? I would really appreciate it.
Until next time! Ms P
